Caveat Emptor Investments Ltd. (CEI) is proposing to build a high-speed rail line from Sechelt to the port city of Dalian in China, Pump Bunsen, CEO, announced today.

Bunsen and his brother Dump arrived for a tour of the company's Dakota Ridge property, accompanied by world-renowned high-speed rail designer Otto von Braun and West Sechelt resident Smug Dockley.

"This rapid transportation facility is much needed," said Bunsen. "It is common knowledge that B.C. does not have the capacity necessary to export all its raw materials to Asia for processing and bring back the finished goods in a timely manner. Building a high-speed rail line is a very positive step in getting our natural capital into inexpensive hands to make disposable consumer items."

Dockley echoed Bunsen's enthusiasm. "If there were a way to buy Chinese goods without waiting in ferry line-ups and scurrying about the lower Mainland on a Wal-Mart run, then I'd be 100% for it. High-speed rail to China means lower prices and less fossil fuel use. Let's save money and save our environment!"

Von Braun was overcome by the beauty of the proposed site for the Sechelt terminus. "I am thinking you offered me a ride to the Vancouver aquarium," he told Bunsen forcefully. "Where, actually, is my tour group?"

"Otto isn't the only top guy working on this project" replied Bunsen, smiling. "There are a lot of people I haven't brought forward yet." Muffled pounding from inside the limousine confirmed this.

According to Bunsen, traditional rail lines have not been built on the ocean because of fears they would sink to the bottom. The time has come, he said, for marine engineers to think outside the box, and take advantage of state of the art technology such as styrofoam crates and water wings.

CEI is one of B.C.'s leading announcers of construction projects, with numerous ongoing media releases around the province. "There is a demand for quality, well-worded announcements," said Bunsen, "and we expect the market will embrace this latest series of paragraphs, with its spectacular imagery and unproven assertions."

David Stow,
Gibsons

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